Fear of metropolitan cities

This chinese guy, I met few days back, he was so much confused and lost in US because of a different life style and cultural differences. This guy with an english name Mike (real name Yabig) came to work for same client. It was his first trip outside China. He arrived at San Francisco with his wife and a sweet baby of minus six months (not yet born). A feeling of strangeness was continuing sickness for couple of weeks. In this independent country where you have to make your own destiny, where you have to choose your own path, he was there with nobody around to talk to him. Worst part was his english communication and difficulty in understanding even common things. Good part is he has slowly started knowing how to deal with circumstances, how to start coping with a different environment, a different culture. To take some appreciation and on a light note, he can always thank friends like me for this little change. I have laughed at him so many times because of silly questions raised, but he never felt bad. But believe me he is a question machine and we had to be on our feet most of the times to answer his questions and curiosities. Good part is we got to know more about China because he compares almost everything with China and it provides us some information about another great country. Yes, I do believe in "Hindi Cheeni bhai bhai" and more than that in "Vasudhaiv Kutumbkam".

Well for now, I'll leave all these slogans behind and start focussing on the topic itself. Behavior of this chinese guy triggered this topic for the day.

I have seen people in my own village, when they come to Delhi first time in their life, it's a hell lot of experience. Survival looks tougher in asking conditions as life is totally different, as it is not made for them. To be honest, some of my friends will say I was not very different 5 years back, although it was my umpteenth trip to Delhi, but somehow it was not my comfort zone. I gave a solid example when I jumped from a DTC bus when it was nearing a turn near Aashram (near maharani bagh). Actually I was sleeping and my friends said we are about to reach, I saw them at the gate and I felt like they are stepping down there. I was unaware of actual situation and stepped down from bus. Yes, Stepped Down !!. But when I landed like an airplane, I realized what I had done. I had just jumped from a running bus. A running bus!! It was a lucky escape as there was no other vehicle coming at that time. My friends were shocked. We met at next bus stop and they scolded me and we forgot that chapter with some huge laughters. It has happened with one of my friends in Bangalore. There are so many similar moments; I have even forgotten the count of them. But we survived and we learned from our mistakes. Truth is that even today I will have to think ten times before driving in Delhi or Bangalore or any metropolitan city of India. It seems easier here in US, but mate, believe me it requires skills in India.

Those blue line buses in Delhi are worse. They won't care for passengers, you somehow have to jump into and step down from a running bus. If you are taking too much time in that process, get ready for some slangs or miss your bus stop. Every second person looks like he is going to take advantage of your simplicity. If you are not "metropolitan smart", you are going to have a tough time there. I still remember when some of my friends used to say how shall we live in Delhi. First, being a Pahadi, the heat in summer will kill us and if we survive that, there are smart Delhites, who will make our life miserable. Only street smart people can survive there. But with time, we realized that it is not true. It is all about experiences. When you go out to any new place, you might feel bubbles in your stomach, but with time, they are going to burst automatically. You just have to stay calm and use your brain and instincts a bit. Then this becomes a continuing process, you will not even feel bubble at some stage, it's all about experiencing the bitterness of life and bitterness of these metropolitan cities.

I know you guys must have had similar or more horrible experiences in your life, you can write to me at laata.times@gmail.com about those moments / experiences. I'll publish them in this same topic. For now, I'll end this topic with a nice Shloka :

अयं निजः परोवेति गणनालघुचेतसाम।
उदारचरितानाम तु, वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम॥

(It means - This is mine, that is yours. This type of data analysis is done by people with small hearts. For people with big hearts, this earth is their home, their family).

- Neeraj Mathpal
April 8, २००८

Priyanka from Bangalore writes, "It reminded me of one similar incident that happened with me some three years back. Sharing it with you.

I was visiting Delhi for the first time, we had an off campus there. I went there with my friends( It would be better if i called them Classmates). The worst part in the whole thing was that I had not informed my parents, thinking that I would return back the next morning. Hostel life gives us that liberty. I was pretty much sure I would get an offer letter at the end of the day so did not bother to ask anyone for permission.

Now you call it my bad luck or anything else, while we were on our way, our placement officer called us to inform that the campus had been rescheduled for the next day. We were near Ghaziabad, I cud not even think of returning back. I started wondering where I would go. All others with me had somebody or the other staying in Delhi. (All being boys would go to their friends places, I was left all alone). I did not know what to do. Then suddenly it struck to me that one of my friends was in Delhi at her sisters place. Although it was a little awkward still I called her up and told her that I would be staying there with her.

She came to pick me up in the morning. The day went of well. All her family members were very nice to me. As we finished lunch, I had no idea wat was in store for me. As all nice people would do, her Didi and Jijaji asked us where we wanted to go out in the evening. Shipra mall in Ghaziazbad was chosen as the destination. We were all set and ready to go. I was a bit nervous as it was the first time for me. I had never been to a mall. To add to the fear and anticipation, we were told that some guests from US would be joining us for dinner. I was not at all ready for this---Going to a five star hotel with people i did not know at all.

Any way, we reached the mall and as all other people loitering around, we too were busy window shopping. I had literally forgotten why I had come to Delhi. Soon enough Out of the confusion in the mall I found myself standing in front of an escalator all set to climb upstairs. (Remember it was the first time), I wanted to take a lift instead. Could not say anything to anyone. My friend understood my trauma. She held my hand, told me the technique :) to place one self on the escalator, and then asked me to take a step. I was dead scared and it took only a fraction of second for me to fall down. Dhard.......... a heavy tall person had fallen. It was sooooooooooooo embarrassing. Only if I had applied by brain and coordinated my body along with it.. I did not get hurt much, only some bruises. My friend at first shouted at me and then laughed her heart out.

I can never forget that day, I was so quiet at dinner out of embarrassment and also scared sitting in front of those people. I have not told anyone about this incident.

Last August I met my friend in another mall in Noida, while climbing the escalator, we just looked at each other and exchanged a warm smile."

[Laata Times thanks Priyanka for sharing this nice piece]